B.E.S.T. Friends

I met Kristine in kindergarten. We became fast friends and remained inseparable for nearly 10 years. We lived only a few blocks away from each other, and we were at each other's houses constantly after school and on weekends. Her house was filled with love and kindness, her parents young and cool, her sisters lots of fun to play with since they were only a year older and a year younger than us. We'd go on adventures in her quiet little neighborhood, riding her bikes (she had a shed full of them!) to the middle school to ride through the trails in the woods (for real... we are so lucky nothing happened to us), or hanging out upstairs in the awesomely humongous room she and her little sister, Jessica, shared. I remember countless hours of listening to Def Leppard and flipping through magazines up there. We also went to CCD classes together, singing along with Father Dennis's accordion and playing volleyball at youth group after Wednesday night class. We must have seen 100 movies together, and I'll admit to being the third squeaky wheel on many of her dates.

In other words, we were the best of friends.

And unfortunately like what sometimes happens to the best of friends, we eventually had a falling out (our first and only), and we didn't speak for the last 3 years of high school.

It pains me to write that.

It happened our freshman year of high school. Krissy had already had a few boyfriends, and I was still the squeaky third wheel, the girl all the boys wanted to be friends with but totally DID NOT even consider dating. While Kristine and I were alike in so many ways, we looked nothing alike. We had our own unique beauty for sure, but, well, the truth is I was one of the fat girls. It was painful for me though I was lucky enough to not really be made fun of for it.

I had lots of friends. I was pretty outgoing. I was very social. And I took the initiative a lot with boys, asking them out on occasion. In the end though, I was always turned down. No boyfriends for me (minus this kid named Mike I went to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with that tried to set me up with one of his friends instead a week later). No first kiss. No I love yous. And I had so much love to give. So much. Add to the fact that I had been boy crazy since kindergarten, and I was one frustrated girl by the age of 14.

At that same time, my parents were in the thick of their divorce. It was bad. After finding out my dad had been cheating on my mom for years, my idea about relationships had been somewhat jaded, and my moral attitude towards being in a relationship became righteous and completely ridiculous where 14-year-olds were concerned.

Kristine had dated this one guy in the 8th grade. After they had split up, I had developed a crush on him, but this was probably the one boy I never pursued trying to date. Why? Well, 1) we were really good friends, and I didn't want to take the chance of losing his friendship and 2) he had been Kristine's boyfriend. And she had really cared about him. So he was off-limits in my book.

Freshman year, he started dating another one of my friends (someone who was not friends with Kristine). They had been dating for a while when out of the blue, Kristine decided she'd like to date him again. So she invited him out the movies, and she asked me to come along.

Enter moral high horse.

It was the first time I voiced a difference of opinion with her. I told her she shouldn't go. I told her he was already dating someone else, and she shouldn't try to get him back.

Dude, we were 14. Isn't that what we're supposed to do at 14?

I'll admit my inexperience with dating definitely had something to do with my attitude. I'll admit that my dad's unfaithfulness skewed my views. And I'll admit that that was the day I finally admitted that I was jealous.

I was jealous of my best friend.

She wanted him back, and she got him back. Just like that.

All those things coupled together made me not go to the movies with them that night.

And just like that, we were no longer friends.

Just like that.

The next time we spoke was 10 years later at a day-before-Thanksgiving pub crawl. We spotted each other from across the room (the scene so movie-like), and the insane noise of 300 voices and crazy classic rock juke box music in the 600 square foot space ceased to exist. We saw each other, and we both burst into tears. We pushed our way through the crowd, hugged, talked (screamed!) for a few minutes, and that was it.

But it was enough.

We found each other again on FB a few years ago and chatted on there once in a while on each other's walls. Then this past Christmas, I asked if she was coming home that week. She missed the message while here, but she wrote to me right after, telling me she came down our way about once a month.

Fast forward to February school break, and we met again, ANOTHER 10 years later, this time with kids of our own (who happen to be the same age we were when we met!). She came to my house for coffee, and we spent 4 wonderful hours catching up on each other's lives and our families.

We are still so much alike.

I cannot get over how easy it was to fall back into conversation with her after all of these years. I cannot believe all of the things we remember about each other and our families.

I can't believe I let 20 years go by without this woman in my life.

I'm friggin' balling my eyes out right now.

I am so happy right now. Happy that we know each other once again.

We didn't talk about what happened between us; it wasn't the time for that. That conversation may come along in the future. But for now we know how blessed we were to have had each other all those years ago.

And yes, it's never too late. Never.

Quickie Post

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day as a couple anymore. Part of it is because our wedding anniversary is 10 days before. Part of it is because while I loved it while dating, it's somewhat lost its appeal as a married couple. Sue me.

I did, however, get Ellie a red wrapped heart box of candy just like my dad used to buy me and a cute little googly-eyed lady bug card. Harry picked a book and a video game out for her too along with some more chocolate.

So color me surprised when I woke up this morning and this was sitting on the counter:

That's right... I got my favorite chocolates and a graphic novel from the husband. Pretty cool. He managed to make Valentine's Day an unexpected day of gifts. The man is good.

Miss Ellie surprised me even further by wheeling a little suitcase out of her room ("It was under my bed!" she exclaimed) filled with things for me. There was a homemade card and a little heart filled with M&Ms. But the best presents were these:

They're beautiful flowers made of wrapping paper. I was floored. I have a soft spot for paper flowers; a friend once surprised me with one on a Valentine's Day long ago, and it brought me to tears. These were no different. Ellie said Daddy had found out how to make them on his computer. I could hardly compose myself. They're now proudly displayed in my cube here at work so I can look at them every day.

Roses? Who needs stinkin' roses?

My sister has started blogging!

That's right, a family that blogs together, um, clogs together?

I hope she won't mind if I share the linkage to her newest endeavor; I'm just so proud and happy for her. I think she's going to love it.

Diaries of a Prozac Princess

Catchy title, no?

I know she's written some pretty personal things already, and that makes me even prouder. It's hard to put that stuff out there, but it's so liberating to finally let it all out.

As I commented to her earlier today, I knew all of this stuff about her, but I didn't know the deeper feelings that went along with all of it. I also didn't know that she's been slowly shying away from the Catholic church, which is something I know we'll end up discussing at length the next time we get together.

I think this is a very healthy step for her, and I hope she enjoys doing it. Me, I'm her biggest cheerleader.

It's amazing the things I can do once when I suddenly lose my fear of failure

From this to THIS:

From this to THIS:

Get your craft on

I made a list of home improvements like I mentioned in my resolution post, and I've already gotten started on it. Exciting!

You already saw the accent wall:

This is the new sofa and chair we chose to compliment our brown leather sofa:

It looks lovely. Add some brown zebra stripe taffeta to cover our deep brown end tables on either side of the leather sofa (sorry, no picture), and the room is complete. I love it. As you can see from the photo, the cats are really digging the new cat bed sofa I purchased.

The second project completed are my kitchen cabinets. Now I love the original honey colored wood cabinets I have in my little galley, but the ones right next to the range had seen better days. So instead of changing everything out (no way!), I figured out a way to make them work AND finally get my chalk board for my menues that I've been talking about since I saw one in my friend, Kate's, kitchen.

Start with some heavy duty primer, 2 coats:

Add a coat of chalkboard paint:

Add another coat of chalkboard paint:

Reattach the hardware:

Let it dry for 3 whole days, then cover it with chalk:

Wipe clean, and it's ready to use!

(the blue chalk doesn't really work for me; I'm switching to white or yellow next week).

In other news, I've also started another resolution last night. I love, love, love my new hobby:

And last, I got some new ink!

Oh, also, I can't remember if I posted a pic of Harry's new ink a couple of months ago. Ellie's little baby feet over his heart:



Holiday, Celebrate

As promised, the holiday blog!

Harry, Ellie, and I all arrived home at 1:30pm on Friday, December 23rd, and that began what was by far our best vacation ever! Close to 11 days of no work or school made for a very happy family.

We did a lot of nothing and everything on the lovely break. Christmas Eve was very low key. I made a complete turkey dinner for that evening (courtesy of freezing an entire cooked turkey breast from Thanksgiving - woo hoo!), and it was delish. Miss El had a bit of a stomach bug, which royally sucked, but she got through it like the trooper she is and went to bed around 8pm.

Harry and I sat up and watched "It's a Wonderful Life", a first for both of us. Can I say that movie is damn depressing! I balled my eyes out at the end. Jimmy Stewart is a pretty kickass actor though. Holy crap! Around 10pm, Santa came! Ellie had left him some kosher tea crackers and milk, and the reindeer got some Scooby Snack graham crackers and a ramekin of milk as well (so friggin' cute).

The next morning, Harry was up at the ungodly hour of 4am, and I shuffled into the family room around 6am myself. Of course, Ellie didn't wake up till 8! She still wasn't at 100%, so it was a quiet gift opening morning at our house. Poor kid. I thought for sure we were going to have to cancel bringing Harry's mom home and going to his SIL's (me and El, anyway) when she suddenly perked up around 10am. Not a trace of the poor, sick little girl who woke up a mere 2 hours earlier. Suddenly she wanted to play with her toys and she was smiling and laughing. Hurray!

Harry picked his mom up from the nursing home, and we spent a few hours with her just watching TV and playing with Ellie's new toys. Harry brought her back, and around 2, we arrived at his sister, Bonnie's, house. The house was already filled with friends and family eating, drinking, and talking.

Ellie quickly ran off to play with her cousins, which always makes me smile. They're a few years older, but they watch over her. She, in turn, sometimes sits quietly while they're doing their tween-thing and observes. It's interesting to witness. She doesn't understand some of it, but it mesmerizes her. She loves her cousins.

I ended up talking with Bonnie and her best friend, Lorena, for the majority of the party. Bonnie just lost her husband last month. Before his passing, we'd seen her a few times since Harry reunited with his sisters. She took care of both her husband, George, and her son, as well as running her own full-time business out of her home. She had to travel sometimes for work as well. This was one busy lady. She protects her privacy (as well she should), so we've always waited for her to initiate when we could meet up. When George died, she reached out to us, had us ride to the funeral in the limos with the rest of the family, kept us close. I think it may have been then that I really started to think of Harry's found-again sisters as family. It's been difficult for me up until now because I have my own family, and Harry always just had his mom. That's what I married into. Changing that dynamic hasn't been easy for me, I will admit.

After George's funeral, Bonnie said she wanted Christmas at her house, and she wanted the whole family there. So we made sure we'd be there. And I'm SO glad we went. Bonnie and I are alike in a lot of ways (it kind of freaks Harry out a bit). I love her like a sister. It's easy for me to be there for her when she needs me, to understand what she's saying and how she's feeling without her having to explain or apologize for it. It's good, to put it simply.

As the evening was winding down, Bonnie decided on the spur of the moment that she wanted to throw a party the next weekend too since no one had plans for New Years Eve. Since it was also Harry's birthday, we decided to throw the party in his honor. Over that next week, Bonnie and I touched base about the menu and guest list, and the party was set!

During vacation week, we also decided to do some redecorating. We painted an accent wall in the living room and ordered a new sofa and chair as well. I also got to go home decor shopping, which I LOVE. I picked up a few things that added that perfect ME touch to the room.

I even got to bring my Buddha in from the garden (I'm sure you can't see him; he's to the right of the fireplace). The room was actually completed yesterday, and I love it. I'll have to snap of shot of it and post it later because I'm so happy with the outcome.

On Wednesday and Thursday, we took a little trip to RI, with a short stop in Mystic for lunch, shopping, and fudge. We got to go swimming at the hotel, eat clam cakes and doughboys while washing them down with some Sarsaparilla soda, and hit the outlet stores on the way back. It was a great trip and just what we needed. We'll probably be doing it again sometime soon. Ellie loves it.

Saturday was the party for Harry's birthday, and again, we had a wonderful time. Everybody was talking and laughing and dancing and eating the entire night. We got home around 11, and all 3 of us crawled into our bed and passed out. I love sleeping next to my girl.

New Years Day, we hung out around the house and had a visit from my niece and her boyfriend. We had dinner together, and she was kind enough to babysit while Harry and I went out with Tom and Stacey for drinks. It was a good night and a perfect way to ring in the new year.

We also had Monday off, and we spent the day lounging around and enjoying our last day of freedom. We were sad to see it go, but I know we'll fondly look back on this vacation time. Of course, Ellie's already asking for another home day. Truth be told, so am I.

Revolve, resolve, evolve

Happy 2012 all! I hope you rang in the new year with some fun with friends and family. We did. I'll save all the details for another post sometime this week. Suffice to say, it was a good New Years. In fact, it was a good week from Christmas Eve to today, the last day of my wonderfully needed and enjoyed vacation.

Like most people, I thought about possible resolutions for the year. I've never been big on them, but I do always think about what I'd like to change or improve upon with the coming year.

I decided to break out a pretty little journal I had purchased over the summer to reflect on new and upcoming changes, the new me. I'm always a project, trying to evolve into the person I want to be. I don't really care what others expect of me, and that's probably because my own expectations have the bar raised much higher than anyone would place it. I expect big things from me because, well dammit, I have such potential.

I don't do a Top Ten or anything like that. I just wrote until I was finished. I ended up listing 14 things, but there are some with more than one "thing" to do. If one change leads to another, so much the better.

I won't write out the entire list (there's a second page as well), but here are some highlights:

1. Let the little things go - less stress equals a happier, healthier lady.
5. Spend less online and more time learning new things with Ellie. Have fun. Laugh.
6. Learn a new hobby. Crocheting or knitting. MAKE THIS HAPPEN THIS YEAR.
7. Write more. A lot more. Carry this book. Buy a really good pen.
9. Make a list of small home improvement projects for the year. Don't do all of them at once.
11. Go out with friends at least once a month.
12. Treat myself to something pretty every once in a while.
13. Give Ellie more responsibility and freedom to do things for herself. Stop micromanaging.
14. Be happy. Be creative. Be free.


I enjoyed making the list, and Ellie was really interested in the whole idea and decided to make a list of her own:

1. Decorating

2. Being nice to the cats

3. Work with Daddy

4. Be a gardener. Get gardening shoes.

5. Pet the cats nicely

6. Be really careful with the water for the cats (see the theme?)

7. Learn to read

8. Don't rip books. Be more careful turning the pages.

9. Set up Learning Lodge Navigator to download games for the MobiGo (we did this one this morning!)

10. Listen to Mommy and Daddy better (at least we made the list)

11. Be more careful with my teeth. Don't open water bottles with them. Be careful eating.

12. Play rolling ball (Wii bowling) without Daddy helping [set it up].

13. Exercise more. Do yoga with Mommy.

She's very proud of her list, and she was excited to start on it today. 

Later on yesterday, I started my home improvements list. Nothing ambitious, mostly fun stuff I never make time for. I need to make time. 

Ellie and I also played a few games of Candyland and her Smurf game, then we took turns coloring in her Peanuts coloring book with crayons and drawing on her huge paper pad with her new markers. It was fun and relaxing and I want to make it a habit. Everyone should have a coloring book and a box of crayons at their desk while at work. 15 minutes would be very therapeutic. I don't care how crazy it may make me look, I'm doing it.

Make time. Enjoy.

It's a Very Shenry Christmas: Part VIII - Barrel of Monkeys

It's that time of year again when a group of us peruse our vast music databases to come up with THE ULTIMATE MIX. I haven't done all 8 swaps, but I think I've been involved in at least 4 now. I have them all on a shelf, separate from the rest of my musical collection, and I love them. I've only met one of the people in person (I think she was in the first swap), but I've know both Shenry and Kristie through our blogs for years now (since 2004 when we started the swap).

The theme this year (courtesy of Shenry, who always puts this shindig together) is Barrel of Monkeys, which means the last letter of track 1 should be the first letter of track 2, then the last letter of track 2 should be the first letter of track 3, and so on. I love a good challenge, and after 3 different drafts, I got my track list. And I have to say, I dig it. A lot.

I made the track list here at the office, using the music I have on my computer here. While that leaves me with a limited number of songs to use to make my barrel of monkeys, it also made it easier (a lot easier) to only use tracks I really, truly love. I keep my favorite albums on my work computer, and therefore, my mix really reflects songs close to my heart. I think it would have taken me days, even weeks, if I had used my entire collection. So here it is!




(click to embiggen - yes... embiggen!)

If anyone would like a copy, I'll do my best to get one to you. 

 

In the Back Seat - The Arcade Fire - I am just a huge fan. This just felt like a good first track. Off of Funeral.

The Rip - Portishead - off of their Third album. This album had to grow on me. The haunting tracks started following me around, and suddenly, what I first thought of as a mediocre album quickly moved up the ranks in my music library.

Please Forgive Me - David Gray - I bought White Ladder at a local Goodwill shop years after Babylon first came out. It's a truly phenomenal album start to finish, and I highly recommend it. One day, I will see David Gray perform live.

Everyone Says "Hi" - David Bowie - Off of Heathen. No one ever talks about this album, but it's one of my favorites. I love that he covers Frances Black of the Pixies and Neil Young (whom I'm not a fan of when singing but a big fan of, writing-wise). This track just makes me feel good. I feel like Peanuts-characters-dancing when I hear it.

Infra-red - Placebo - Off of Meds. Another album that grew on me. I got a recommendation to buy this album because of the Kate Bush cover at the end of it. It's now one of my Friday-afternoon lineups. I love singing this song.

Death of an Interior Decorator - Death Cab for Cutie - Can you tell me why you have been so sad?

Rasperry Swirl - Tori Amos - I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tori's dance beats. As a non-raver, this makes me want to rave. Off of From the Choirgirl Hotel.

Leeds United - Amanda Fucking Palmer - If I were a lesbian, Amanda would be my gal. Who the fuck sings rock caberet music? Amanda Fucking Palmer, that's who. This is off of Who Killed Amanda Palmer?, an incredible album that also has a killer companion book.

Dead Souls - NIN - This is off of The Crow soundtrack. For those that don't know, I was an insane Crow fan for many, many years. I have listened to this soundtrack a lot. A LOT. A LOT A LOT A LOT. This NIN song kills it.

Straight No Chaser - Bush - Off of Razorblade Suitcase, the album that helped lull this insomniac to sleep for all of the year 2000. This song makes me weep.

Ramona - Beck - Beck is a genius. I will have words with anyone who says different. This is off of the Scott Pilgrim VS. The World Soundtrack, which you need to go out and buy right now if you do not own it yet. Seriously, go right now.

All Good Things - The Weepies - I was only introduced to this group last year by Kristie during the It's a Very Shenry Christmas: Part VII swap. They are awesomely awesome. This a pretty little song off of Hideaway.

Shelter - The XX - Off of XX. A friend turned me onto The XX, and I've never looked back. This is my lounge-around-the-house, cooking-dinner, trying-to-get-through-work, jam-in-the-car album. It's multi-functional.

Run - Snow Patrol - I fell in love with Final Straw when it came out in 2004. I remember how excited I was the first time I heard one of the tracks off of that album at the movie theatre before a movie started. I exclaimed, "Oh my God, Snow Patrol! I know them!" as if me and Gary Lightbody were *like this*.

Numb - Portishead - Yes, yes, TWO Portishead tracks on one mix. I hardly ever do that, use the same artist twice, but the sounds of the two songs are so vastly different, I decided to break my own rules and go for it. This is off of Dummy, which came out in 1994. I wish I could say I've been a Portishead fan since then, but alas, I found them about 5 or 6 years later through a friend.

Breaking My Heart - Aqualung - This song, off of Strange & Beautiful, does just that. The whole album breaks my heart.

To Your Love - Fiona Apple - Fiona may be a hot mess, but she's a musical genius of a hot mess. This is off of “When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right”. No, I did not type that all out myself.

Everlong - Foo Fighters - The greatest song ever, off of The Colour and The Shape. I wish I had the acoustic version, but alas, this one will have to do.

October - Thank God It's Over

October was the longest month in the history of my life. I danced a jig when November 1st popped up. For realz, yo.

Among the 5000 other things we did in October, here are some of the highlights:

• We started off the month with pumpkin picking and my SIL's 50th birthday celebration.

• Next, we hit the West Haven Apple Festival where I scored an armful of books for a mere $4. We also went to Delaney's, an Irish pub in West Haven. Their food is kickass. We are definitely going back.
• That first week of October, I also started training sales associates as part of a new training group here in my department. Somewhere in that week, I was also told that I had been promoted! Harry also had jury duty that week, and we pulled off a large health fair here at my office (I'm part of the wellness committee here that orchestrates the whole thing).
• On Sunday, the 9th, Harry and I had a glorious day outside in New Haven on a brand new Culinary Walking Tour of the Westville section. It was phenomenal. We stopped at the farmer's market and sampled lots of local foods, learned about the history of that section of town, noshed of delicious cuisine and drink at various stops, and soaked up the insane 80* weather. It was one of the best dates we've ever had.
• The next week, I went to my first PTA meeting, delivered our first fundraising items for school, decided to co-lead our team for our haunted house room at the office, won a free at-home teeth whitening kit at the health fair which I had to have a mold of my mouth made (gag), and attended movie night at Ellie's school, all the while still training.
• Harry got a new tattoo, Ellie's footprints over his heart. They're beautiful.

• That next weekend was Ellie's birthday party at the zoo, and it was wonderful. I baked cupcakes for it, but everything else was pretty much taken care of at the zoo. The kids had a fantastic time! I have to say it was one of the best kids' parties we've ever been to. 15 children left very happy that day, complete with a little pumpkin to take home as a thank you (I figured it was better than candy!). The hit of the day... Mama giving all the kids temporary tattoos. Totally doing that again next year.

• A few days later, Ellie went on her first kindergarten fieldtrip to a local farm, and I tagged along as a chaperone. It was a lovely morning and a great trip. This day also happened to be the turning point of the month. We found out one of Harry's oldest friends was in the hospital with massive head injuries resulting from a hit and run car vs bicycle (he was on the bike). As we were learning the details of the accident, a knock at our door brought more bad news... there was in incident b/t our Tobi and the neighbor's dog which resulted in an injury. Tobi was to blame. Our neighbor's dog ended up needing emergency surgery, and the rescue we got Tobi from told us we should bring him back. We were heartbroken having to give him up after falling in love with him the few weeks he was with us, but we can't take the chance of him hurting Ellie. That's not a risk I'm about to take.
• The next day, I found out an old friend's mother had passed away, and an hour later, I learned Harry's friend had passed on as well. A few hours after that, we found out one of our neighbors had passed too. It was not a good week.
• In between all of that, there was a flu shot, a dentist visit, an office lunch, a meeting, the haunted house at work, another birthday party, trunk or treat at school, and a wake.



• The next week, I had my first parent teacher conference (Ellie's doing very well!), as well as another dentist appointment. And then, THEN, Harry and I got to relax and have some fun at Chaz and AJ's 1986 Prom being held around the corner from our house. We dressed up totally 80s, listened to some great music, and ate some delicious grub. It was a good night.

• Ellie had ANOTHER Halloween party at dance class the Saturday before. Yet another costume, yet more candy.


(Ellie's the faery on the left)
• The month finally wound down, but not before we got hit with a freak snow storm. In October. We were lucky, but the rest of the state was not. There are STILL people without power here in CT. They're on like day 9 or 10 without power, heat, and water. It's insane. And today it's supposed to be freakin' 70* out. WTF?
• Trick or treating still went on in my town, and El had a fun night ringing neighbors' doorbells and singing "trick or treat, smell my feet". I thought it was cute (I taught it to her), but Harry was all kinds of bent out of shape about it saying it was rude. Eh. I told him he's not allowed to be anal; that's my job:)

• November rolled around, and with it came Ellie's actual birthday. She went to school that day, and I ended up taking a 1/2 day at work to meet up with my sister for some food and conversation. Harry, Ellie, and I celebrated with pizza and doughnuts (her choice) and the opening of presents. It was a nice low-key evening. Oh, and El got a haircut somewhere in there. Look at how damn cute!


• This past weekend we had the family over to celebrate, and that was fun as well. We ate some more good food (so much food this month!), opened more presents, and just enjoyed each other's company.

And now, now I can breathe easy. This month is shaping up to be a whole lotta nothin', and that makes me happy.

Last pic, Miss Ellie's kindergarten photo!

Me and My Girl